attack of the killer southern family...(help me...)
so, i have been in florida for one week (almost) and i have had to come to some unpleasant realizations about my obnoxious "southern side" of the family. not pretty, not fun. and really, i do everything in my power to keep the attitude live and let live. but as i cocoon (see last blog) its hard to not lose it when im being harrassed because i wont get up and go out for BBQ at nine AM!!!
my grandma is really okay on her own-its only when her son and his "common-law" wife (their words, not mine) come around. then suddenly im too quiet, too much of a loner, ect. i dont have the bad manners required to say, "its because i dont like you." tonight, over another round of BBQ, my "uncle" acually says to me, in front of everyone, "you're really aint that bright, idnt ya?" my jaw could have broken on the table when it hit. have you ever seen king of the hill? you know the one neighbor that talks like-
"hehankwhatsyoubeendoint'day,i'sbeenovertattabar,nimfixnd'gofishin.."
yes friends and strangers, that is my "uncle." he thinks im "not that bright" because every time he says something i have to say what? at least twice! (and i always had this dreamy kind of notion of my southern relations-i have never spent any time with them as an adult)
his "wife" wears a BIG, gold and cz ring on EACH finger, of both hands. and does nothing but giggle stupidly and encourage his behavior which includes driving dangerously, honking at strangers to scare them, terrifying waitresses (that poor girl at perkins will NEVER recover,) and making fun of anything that anyone says. I HATE people like this. and i dont give a goddamn who they are. and there is only one way to deal with people like this without stooping to their level, and that is to completely ignore them. most of these offenders have dealt with that tactic, so they are very sneaky in their attempts to fuck with you. and he has been working on me for two days straight. i swear on everything-if i had not been sitting next to my sweet mom tonight at dinner i would have told him to go fuck himself and walked home. i was that angry. enstead, somehow i managed to say, "well, we all have opinions of each other, dont we?" i told my mom after dinner that if her "brother" didnt watch his mouth, i would give him something to talk about for the next fucking year. i promised myself something after my dad died, and that was i would NEVER put up with anything, from anyone, for any reason again unless i was cool with it. whew...
i really had to blow off the steam.
tomorow i go to meet my "cousin." :)
my grandma is really okay on her own-its only when her son and his "common-law" wife (their words, not mine) come around. then suddenly im too quiet, too much of a loner, ect. i dont have the bad manners required to say, "its because i dont like you." tonight, over another round of BBQ, my "uncle" acually says to me, in front of everyone, "you're really aint that bright, idnt ya?" my jaw could have broken on the table when it hit. have you ever seen king of the hill? you know the one neighbor that talks like-
"hehankwhatsyoubeendoint'day,i'sbeenovertattabar,nimfixnd'gofishin.."
yes friends and strangers, that is my "uncle." he thinks im "not that bright" because every time he says something i have to say what? at least twice! (and i always had this dreamy kind of notion of my southern relations-i have never spent any time with them as an adult)
his "wife" wears a BIG, gold and cz ring on EACH finger, of both hands. and does nothing but giggle stupidly and encourage his behavior which includes driving dangerously, honking at strangers to scare them, terrifying waitresses (that poor girl at perkins will NEVER recover,) and making fun of anything that anyone says. I HATE people like this. and i dont give a goddamn who they are. and there is only one way to deal with people like this without stooping to their level, and that is to completely ignore them. most of these offenders have dealt with that tactic, so they are very sneaky in their attempts to fuck with you. and he has been working on me for two days straight. i swear on everything-if i had not been sitting next to my sweet mom tonight at dinner i would have told him to go fuck himself and walked home. i was that angry. enstead, somehow i managed to say, "well, we all have opinions of each other, dont we?" i told my mom after dinner that if her "brother" didnt watch his mouth, i would give him something to talk about for the next fucking year. i promised myself something after my dad died, and that was i would NEVER put up with anything, from anyone, for any reason again unless i was cool with it. whew...
i really had to blow off the steam.
tomorow i go to meet my "cousin." :)
posted by lightaqua at 4:59 PM
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2 Comments:
Oh, come on, my mom married a man that used to date my sister back when my sister was straight. And now my mom's a truck driver. My family's more Jerry Springer than yours any day of the week ...
NOTE:READ WITH SOUTHERN ACCENT
darling, i will not argue that point. jerry springer? isnt that your cousin? :)
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