yin/yang-young love

so, when i think about the men in my life who have been influential;
boys i have loved greatly-there are two that significantly stand out.
in my mind they are yin and yang to each other. they both gave me, taught me so much. they are both as opposite as can be, yet i know they would have an enteresting conversation if they ever were to meet. the reason these two are so special is because i was young enough that they helped shape me, yet old enough to understand love and take it seriously. my relationship with each of them was fun, crazy, trying, full of love, sexually charged, passionate, and very unique. i used to have this secret fantasy, (after they were both gone from me) that the three of us would be together. (this is not a sexual fantasy-more of an emotional one.) because i thought these two guys were so amazing seperately, i couldnt begin to amagine how wonderful it would be to have both of them together. it sometimes crossed my mind that if there was a way to combine them i would have the perfect man.
my yin-a sweet, light, blonde hippie who craved fun, experience and (mostly) light drugs. he never pushed me, challenged me. he was such a believer in the idea of just be. he was a painter. we had wild sex, everywhere. we broke into abandoned houses and amagined how the people lived. he never noticed if i gained or lost weight-he just thought i was beautiful all the time. my years with him went by in a hazy, phychedelic blur. we started in las vegas and ended up in tiny town, ohio. we were each others first love, and we grew into young adulthood together. he was my siamese twin, more like my brother than my boyfriend. we looked alike, had the same taste in everything, except for his growing unhealthy taste for alcohol. if there is a "soul-mate" he was mine. even though we havnt spoken in about eight years, i still think of him almost every day. i miss him, always...
my yang-dark, wickedly funny and charasmatic-he pushed me always to my limits. he wanted me to think, to challenge myself. he was a teacher. he could turn from sweet to scary and back again in moments. he is the most complicated relationship i have ever known, but always worth it. he was a musician and a writer. we lived on welfare and hard drugs in northern california. we played lots of games; some innocent, some not so much-with each other, with our minds. we had nothing literally but each other for time and it created a close connection. he helped me to understand myself, to believe in myself. we had an explosive ending, but he left me a stronger, smarter person than when we met. after seven years, we have started talking again and i consider it a blessing because he is still a teacher to me and now-a good friend. (still knows how to push my buttons...:)
i was with these two people back to back, and i guess thats what got me thinking how they are like the yin/yang for me. so completely different from each other, but both so special to me. the bottom line is they both knew me, really knew me and accepted me as is which i now know is very rare. i consider myself a very lucky girl indeed to have spent time with two such unique, special men. i really hope to be that lucky in love again someday.