the book of bunny suicides

so, i have been crazy busy-(not lazy)-and sleeping ridiculously well. :) last week i had no less than three tests, in a row, all medically based-but of course on different topics. and 100 pages to read, 20 pages to write. work. psb-health occupations aptitude test. my 2nd paper for english. more work. and every night, collapsing into the utter blissful sanctity that is my new bed. its beyond-i, i, i just cant even talk about it. so, now-its finally spring break which really only means work, no school-enstaed of both. but still its nice to clear my head. tomorow i recieve my first massage in over a year. i love doing massage so much-its so crazily fullfilling. and this time i waited to long-i feel the need for the return of energy to me through massage. i expend so much when i work, and it is a flow-i recieve plenty back-,but now it is time to purely recieve and bathe in it. there is nothing on the planet like a good, loving massage. im almost struck dumb, im so excited. i also booked a ticket to new york city for the week after school gets out. i have never been, but i have so many people there i know-and a few wonderful close friends i cannot wait to see. its my "getting through this semester without going crazy" gift to myself. i wish i had anything deep to write about, but i feel like the busy schedule has pushed a lot out of my head. i feel content. i feel free. i feel productive and like im doing good work-doing what i should be doing-healing through massage, enstead of burning up all my energy on alcohol. but balance always-still having a few nights here and there. really, its almost spooky. im trying not to wait for the crash because aside from feeling busy, everything is incredibly smooth and peaceful right now. its hard not to get that calm-before-the-storm feeling because i dont understand smooth and peaceful. maybe its the new bed....