day eight
so, if anyone would have told me i would be in this good place after quitting smoking without any forthought or real preparation AND not eating for eight days i would have called them crazy and ordered another drink. :)
its good. i feel wonderful. i smoked pot when i was a teenager which is years ago, and i remember the giggly feeling, permagrin, ect. its kind of how i feel now. light, innocent, unfettered, un-needing if that makes any sense. at this point im deciding to go with this for as long as my body accepts it. and so interestingly, my mind seems to be quite accepting too.
i have always had this chatter in my head. incessant, repetive thoughts about food, ciggerettes, alcohol. its the addict in my personality. its this voice that i give into over and over. this voice that has strangely fallen so silent.
i never saw willy wonka and the chocolate factory when i was little. last night i went and saw the remake with jess. and i met a character i was quite familiar with.
veruka salt, the little girl who who always says "i want..."
my voice has a name (and now a brittish accent.)
this has been my problem all along. i have been unwilling to say no to this inner part of me that just wont shut up. its funny-all i had to do was starve her.
that was actually my greatest fear before starting the master cleanse-that the chatter would drive me crazy. but for whatever reason, all is still.
its nice. with this clear quiet head i was room for all kinds of interesting thoughts, realizations. stepping out of my comfort zone with my habits is allowing me to step out of my comfort zone upstairs.
tonight in the shower i was thinking about friendships as artwork. some of my friendships are like paintings done with a one-hair brush. there is so much detail. you can see every line, every nuance of color, every space between light and dark.
some paintings are simply done with broader strokes. they can be equally beautiful, but some have just had more time and thought put into them. the time and thought put into a piece will inevitably create a different type of painting.
its good. i feel wonderful. i smoked pot when i was a teenager which is years ago, and i remember the giggly feeling, permagrin, ect. its kind of how i feel now. light, innocent, unfettered, un-needing if that makes any sense. at this point im deciding to go with this for as long as my body accepts it. and so interestingly, my mind seems to be quite accepting too.
i have always had this chatter in my head. incessant, repetive thoughts about food, ciggerettes, alcohol. its the addict in my personality. its this voice that i give into over and over. this voice that has strangely fallen so silent.
i never saw willy wonka and the chocolate factory when i was little. last night i went and saw the remake with jess. and i met a character i was quite familiar with.
veruka salt, the little girl who who always says "i want..."
my voice has a name (and now a brittish accent.)
this has been my problem all along. i have been unwilling to say no to this inner part of me that just wont shut up. its funny-all i had to do was starve her.
that was actually my greatest fear before starting the master cleanse-that the chatter would drive me crazy. but for whatever reason, all is still.
its nice. with this clear quiet head i was room for all kinds of interesting thoughts, realizations. stepping out of my comfort zone with my habits is allowing me to step out of my comfort zone upstairs.
tonight in the shower i was thinking about friendships as artwork. some of my friendships are like paintings done with a one-hair brush. there is so much detail. you can see every line, every nuance of color, every space between light and dark.
some paintings are simply done with broader strokes. they can be equally beautiful, but some have just had more time and thought put into them. the time and thought put into a piece will inevitably create a different type of painting.
posted by lightaqua at 8:42 PM
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2 Comments:
Good job! It nice to be calm, right?
way to go jenn, for the 8 days, and for the quieting of the "i want voice". when i did the mc, i never experienced that. and congradulations on quitting smoking as well. you are making such major steps in your growth. i am proud of you, and i am inspired by you as well.
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