oops, i did it again...
okay, okay-ive said this before, but i mean it this time (i swear!) im going to be more consistant with this writing thing-apparently it brings laughter and happiness to others and you all know i just live to serve ;)
i feel like i have a really boring life compared to most people, but then i go three or four weeks without writing-its like "where to begin to catch-up." and even though its mostly "drink, sleep, repeat..." there can surely be humour found in every day. take last wednesday-im walking through the the belly of the casino where i work and a fancy-pants waiter for one of our upscale resteraunts walked past me in full tux with his nose in the air carrying above his head what should have been a silver tray piled with exotic fruits (from the way he was acting) but instead was a carboard box full of mini frito-lay chip bags. maybe its just me, maybe no one else could have seen the incredible humour there-but i was almost falling over laughing. funniness abounds if you let it. last night sitting around a table full of friends from over the years and having jessie sing to me, "once, twice, three times a loser..."
me and her were walking through a casino the other day and i saw these two little old ladies walking holding arms the way they do. one looked kind of nervous, and the other one had that "come on bertha, it will be fine" kind of attitude and i bumped jess to show her, "that will be us some day."
NOTE-i just have to say at this point that the writing gods punished me tonight. i wrote for about three hours and never noticed i had lost my connection so when i tried to publish this damn thing i lost everything from here down. see, i had figured out the meaning of life-no, really-and wrote it all down. mysteries of the universe solved, and i was going to share it with everyone. now all you get are more of these silly stories from my life. oh well, lesson learned.
the past couple of weeks have been great, awful, crazy, dangerous, boring. i have been alternately thanking the universe for my good fortune and screaming curses at it. ive done (GASP!) drugs and been to an old-fashioned ice cream social. i finally took an ex's advice to try online dating but after having my profile viewed on match (no joke) 400 times and the creepy messages from a guy ive never met calling me angel i felt a wee bit too exposed and pulled myself off. (there was seventy dollars well spent!) i told this same ex recently that i just really like the way a big guy feels, i like the way you can feel his arms wrap around you. he told me if i lost some weight more guys could get their arms around me-OUCH!!!! i guess i really tweaked his "small guy" nerve center.
i was told by a friend that no guy who makes me cry is worth it. i told her not to worry, no guy makes me cry. i just make myself cry. she was referring to my b.d.l. (big, dumb lug.) i met him i guess about a month and a half ago. he's a bouncer at (drumroll please................)
a bar! of course. (you just dont meet guys that put off that ever so attractive aroma of trouble at church.) when i first talked to him i walked into the bar and told jess he was a big, dumb lug and she came up with an appropriate jingle fast-"its luuug, its luuug, its big-its dumb-its lug!" i was thinking this guy is young, he's a punk, he's a drunk, he's Trouble. now that i think about it, i cant believe it wasnt love at first sight! but somehow this guy with nothing going for him got me hooked. actually he does have something going for him-for some inexpicable reason i just feel happy around him, he makes me smile. like i said not all 22year olds are dumb punks. when we first started talking i totally felt like the cool older girl being chased by this guy but of course human emotions are messy, and everything always changes after you've slept with someone. i think we both got a little attatched and then things shifted. i told him i did not want, and would not have anything serious with him and he agreed that is what he wanted. so now we have gone through this back and forth thing and kind of come out in a new place. i think we both believe we have the upper hand right now. i think we are both wrong, so i'll just have to see how it goes. i dont even know what it is about him thats driving me crazy. b.d.l. my a.s.s.-he probably knows exactly what he's doing. where's my dunce cap? :) he does make me smile though. what is it about bad guys? i just need to keep in mind the most important lesson i have ever learned from my cat, karma. there is nothing uglier than jealousy. whenever i try to give lovin' to my other kitties, karma gets seriously pissed and he will attack them (and sometimes me!) and in that moment i dont see the furry love of my life-i see physco-kitty. not so pretty. and i havnt behaved jeaously around the b.d.l., but i did make the classic mistake of being too "there." so the future with him is a mystery, but i think i have my head back on.
my beautiful friend maria was visiting from england (a shout out to the brittish lassies across the pond who apparently think im just as crazy as the peeps over here!) you know you have a true friend when you can go seven months without talking and when you do see the person its like no time has passed. one year and four months to go girl, hang in there!
my oldest friend, dm, is here opening the new show at the wynn and its so nice. things are just better for everyone in general when she is around. she just creates that wherever she is at. i was really blue last wed. and she suprised me-showed up on my door and scooped me away. i ended up staying at her hotel with her which brought up all kinds of happy memories about being on tour. it was great. before that though we had decided to stop by my beloved neighborhood bar for a drink. when we got there it was completely empty, except for THE showponies! what is with this guy?!?!? how is possible i can keep running into him! aaaack! if i wanted to find someone i could probably search the city from top to bottom for months and have no luck. at least there was an oppurtunity for redemption after the misfortune of seeing him at the gym. the funny thing is the blue ribbon winner from the night a few weeks back took off pretty fast and he pranced right over and back into my affections. yes, i really do have sucker written all over me ;) i cant help it! i wouldnt want anything from him now, but he is fun-he's entertaining. i played sweet and clueless with him and of course got an invitation to another show. he loves to talk all about his bad boy days-all the bands he played with and the drugs and wild times but how having children reformed him. i told him about my b.d.l. and my penchant for bad boys in general. like last sunday when my b.d.l. called me drunk at 4 in the afternoon after the lovely bartendress stole his keys from him. of course i went and got him...the pony laughed at me and asked where "in the hell" i was when we has 27. without missing a beat i replied "high school." apparently not only do guys not appreciate being made to feel small, they dont care for being reminded they are older. fuck it! i have to get my jabs in where i can because i have spent intirely too much of my life babying guys and being the "nicest girl ever." i was moaning to jess if i have to hear that godamned phrase one more time im going to rip my hair out. she showed up within a few hours with a book for me that i will only refer to as my new, personal bible. all i can say is that if i can ever get some guy to call me a bitch i will simply smile and say thank you.
i feel like i have a really boring life compared to most people, but then i go three or four weeks without writing-its like "where to begin to catch-up." and even though its mostly "drink, sleep, repeat..." there can surely be humour found in every day. take last wednesday-im walking through the the belly of the casino where i work and a fancy-pants waiter for one of our upscale resteraunts walked past me in full tux with his nose in the air carrying above his head what should have been a silver tray piled with exotic fruits (from the way he was acting) but instead was a carboard box full of mini frito-lay chip bags. maybe its just me, maybe no one else could have seen the incredible humour there-but i was almost falling over laughing. funniness abounds if you let it. last night sitting around a table full of friends from over the years and having jessie sing to me, "once, twice, three times a loser..."
me and her were walking through a casino the other day and i saw these two little old ladies walking holding arms the way they do. one looked kind of nervous, and the other one had that "come on bertha, it will be fine" kind of attitude and i bumped jess to show her, "that will be us some day."
NOTE-i just have to say at this point that the writing gods punished me tonight. i wrote for about three hours and never noticed i had lost my connection so when i tried to publish this damn thing i lost everything from here down. see, i had figured out the meaning of life-no, really-and wrote it all down. mysteries of the universe solved, and i was going to share it with everyone. now all you get are more of these silly stories from my life. oh well, lesson learned.
the past couple of weeks have been great, awful, crazy, dangerous, boring. i have been alternately thanking the universe for my good fortune and screaming curses at it. ive done (GASP!) drugs and been to an old-fashioned ice cream social. i finally took an ex's advice to try online dating but after having my profile viewed on match (no joke) 400 times and the creepy messages from a guy ive never met calling me angel i felt a wee bit too exposed and pulled myself off. (there was seventy dollars well spent!) i told this same ex recently that i just really like the way a big guy feels, i like the way you can feel his arms wrap around you. he told me if i lost some weight more guys could get their arms around me-OUCH!!!! i guess i really tweaked his "small guy" nerve center.
i was told by a friend that no guy who makes me cry is worth it. i told her not to worry, no guy makes me cry. i just make myself cry. she was referring to my b.d.l. (big, dumb lug.) i met him i guess about a month and a half ago. he's a bouncer at (drumroll please................)
a bar! of course. (you just dont meet guys that put off that ever so attractive aroma of trouble at church.) when i first talked to him i walked into the bar and told jess he was a big, dumb lug and she came up with an appropriate jingle fast-"its luuug, its luuug, its big-its dumb-its lug!" i was thinking this guy is young, he's a punk, he's a drunk, he's Trouble. now that i think about it, i cant believe it wasnt love at first sight! but somehow this guy with nothing going for him got me hooked. actually he does have something going for him-for some inexpicable reason i just feel happy around him, he makes me smile. like i said not all 22year olds are dumb punks. when we first started talking i totally felt like the cool older girl being chased by this guy but of course human emotions are messy, and everything always changes after you've slept with someone. i think we both got a little attatched and then things shifted. i told him i did not want, and would not have anything serious with him and he agreed that is what he wanted. so now we have gone through this back and forth thing and kind of come out in a new place. i think we both believe we have the upper hand right now. i think we are both wrong, so i'll just have to see how it goes. i dont even know what it is about him thats driving me crazy. b.d.l. my a.s.s.-he probably knows exactly what he's doing. where's my dunce cap? :) he does make me smile though. what is it about bad guys? i just need to keep in mind the most important lesson i have ever learned from my cat, karma. there is nothing uglier than jealousy. whenever i try to give lovin' to my other kitties, karma gets seriously pissed and he will attack them (and sometimes me!) and in that moment i dont see the furry love of my life-i see physco-kitty. not so pretty. and i havnt behaved jeaously around the b.d.l., but i did make the classic mistake of being too "there." so the future with him is a mystery, but i think i have my head back on.
my beautiful friend maria was visiting from england (a shout out to the brittish lassies across the pond who apparently think im just as crazy as the peeps over here!) you know you have a true friend when you can go seven months without talking and when you do see the person its like no time has passed. one year and four months to go girl, hang in there!
my oldest friend, dm, is here opening the new show at the wynn and its so nice. things are just better for everyone in general when she is around. she just creates that wherever she is at. i was really blue last wed. and she suprised me-showed up on my door and scooped me away. i ended up staying at her hotel with her which brought up all kinds of happy memories about being on tour. it was great. before that though we had decided to stop by my beloved neighborhood bar for a drink. when we got there it was completely empty, except for THE showponies! what is with this guy?!?!? how is possible i can keep running into him! aaaack! if i wanted to find someone i could probably search the city from top to bottom for months and have no luck. at least there was an oppurtunity for redemption after the misfortune of seeing him at the gym. the funny thing is the blue ribbon winner from the night a few weeks back took off pretty fast and he pranced right over and back into my affections. yes, i really do have sucker written all over me ;) i cant help it! i wouldnt want anything from him now, but he is fun-he's entertaining. i played sweet and clueless with him and of course got an invitation to another show. he loves to talk all about his bad boy days-all the bands he played with and the drugs and wild times but how having children reformed him. i told him about my b.d.l. and my penchant for bad boys in general. like last sunday when my b.d.l. called me drunk at 4 in the afternoon after the lovely bartendress stole his keys from him. of course i went and got him...the pony laughed at me and asked where "in the hell" i was when we has 27. without missing a beat i replied "high school." apparently not only do guys not appreciate being made to feel small, they dont care for being reminded they are older. fuck it! i have to get my jabs in where i can because i have spent intirely too much of my life babying guys and being the "nicest girl ever." i was moaning to jess if i have to hear that godamned phrase one more time im going to rip my hair out. she showed up within a few hours with a book for me that i will only refer to as my new, personal bible. all i can say is that if i can ever get some guy to call me a bitch i will simply smile and say thank you.
posted by lightaqua at 11:33 PM
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1 Comments:
(holding jens hand in with my skoliosis back)........."come on Ol lady...............you can slap those suckers back every now and then.........they like it when their face is red". ;0 Jessie. (the person who will either jingle or rap about your nicknamed boys, and our idiotic drunkenness)
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