thanks for the distraction

dear whats-your-name,
i just want to say thank you. for god knows what reason you have a physical form that suits me even if nothing else about you is quite right. when you tuck me in the perfectly fitting crook of your arm, and wrap your arms around me just so-im allowed to forget for minute that i dont have a home, a husband, a sweet beautiful child or two. you give me a respite from the feeling that i have somehow failed myself. you help me to focus on you (instead of myself) since you have so many issues that are obviously so much more desperate and sad than my own. you have given me a deeper insight and understanding into my mother and the desicions she made in her life since you brought me to the understanding you are so much like my dad at your age-a precious man with a huge heart and anger at the world to match. i dont want to like you, i dont want to possibly end up (loving) you. but please, keep doing what you are doing and i surely will. see, im not right so i will happily follow you into the depths of your hell and then i will pay for the cab back for both of us.
so, thank you for the distraction. i dont really feel my stomach growling anymore because all i want to do is shrink until i dissapear into you. you are big enough and if i get small enough i think i might be able to.