whiskey psychosis

so, last night, our home, a wee get-together. i asked a friend to bring a small bottle of jack daniels (cause its generally rude to ask for them to bring the gallon) since our personal supply was mysteriously depleted. (as in...open cupboard, gasp, "when did all that get drrrunkend?") luckily, our friend is generous and thoughfull-she brought the biggest bottle you can purchase-about the size of a jug of milk. after a few warm up beers as i cleaned and put together a cheese and meat plate, i tucked in to the real stuff. in earnest.

this morning i realized betwixt my sweetie and my myself we drank a third of the jug. a third. i was confused upon awaking since i felt paralyzed from the waist down, "oh shit, what happened....?" it was okay...i was facedown and jeda the cat had fallen asleep across my ass, so the entire lower half of my body had fallen asleep. then i realized shan was missing...it was okay...she was passed out in the back room. but back to last night...

i had asked our sweet neighbor to come over. i really like her and had been wanting to get to know her better. but, anyone who has been around me drinking knows well my open-book syndrome and my propensity for saying SERIOUSLY inappropriate things. never meant to be harmful, im not really an asshole (except by accident.) lets just call me an idiot.

so, of course we relapsed smoking last night (cursed fucking things!) as our little party was going outside to smoke i asked her (the neighbor) if she smoked. she replied, "no, after watching my father die of lung cancer i just couldn't." to which i said, "bwa, bwa, bwaaaaaa." which doesnt translate well in writing, but its the debbie downer sound from the snl skit. i embarrased to to write this, but i actually feel like i need to call myself out here. (when i called jessie and told her this morning she gave it to me straight, "oh my god, you're an asshole!!!") i DID realize what i had done right away, and apologized profusely. she was either polite, understanding, or she just didnt catch it-so no harm done really. (but good god!!!!)

at 3am, after she was long asleep i for some reason thought putting some winter-deadened potted plants on her porch was a good idea. im sure she's very excited to take me up on the offer i made for us all to go to dinner after the first of the year....

so, final score-SHE-brought candy, hummus, and a bottle of wine. I-mocked her fathers death and left some dead plants at her door. wtg jen. good job...