you drink, you drive, you take it up the ass

i am innocent!!! okay, now thats out of the way-i went to the slammer, the clink, the tank, lock-up, the pokey. i spent seven hours there with prostitutes, crackheads, and a few idiots like myself who drove straight into the hands of the devil. i did the math with a few different bac calculators found online and basically for me to blew what i did on the test i would have to have had EIGHT-yes 8 screwdrivers. this is what i did have-2 beers between 6:30 and 8. then a break. then one more beer between 9 and 10. LITERALLY a fifth of another beer that was bought for me (and was inherited by a friend when i left at 10:15) by 10:30 i was in cuffs waiting. kind of amuzed, quite irritated and waiting for it to be over because i was not drunk-not by any stretch. and anyone who knows me knows just how much i can drink. then the slow, freaky realization that i wasnt going to go home. of all the nights in my life of bad choices, i had been patting myself on the back for getting out early to head home. im still in shock that i now have to go to court, lose my license, and who knows what else before its all over. and im really pissed because i cant even fight it even though the number they said i blew CANNOT be right. .13 is not possible considering what i had. and im an honest girl-i would be the first one to admit-"man, im a jackass...i was SOOOO fucked up," if i was. but, i wasnt. and now im screwed. i always thought being arrested and taken to jail would be scary, but it wasnt. it was infuriating, i was livid! i took off my cuffs while i was waiting for transport and the drunk next to me said watch that. i replied-what will they do, put them on tighter? its not my fault they are loose, plus i have had practice getting out of cuffs before. when i finally got to jail the officer couldnt work the simple tool to remove them from me so i slipped them off again and handed them to him. that got me the look, and i just shrugged. when they had me take off my boots i chucked them across the chamber i was in. i was told to watch my attitude, but i just couldnt get over the fact that i was in there. whenever i have watched cop shows i could never get over the people that resisted, always thought they were morons. now i understand the thing that wells up inside when your rights, and freedom are being taken. its not tears, not fright-its pure venemous anger. the kind that will force your body to fight even as your mind is saying-stop, dont make it worse. it has to be from fight or flight reaction. and as i have learned before, when in a corner i will always fight even when i really dont want to. worst was not being able to call shan. knowing she was worried because i told her i was on my way home. i was not allowed to make a call to her until 4am (from ten-thirty!) i told her after the fact i was glad it was me and not her that this happened to, because with all my morbid death thoughts i would surely have had a heart attack not being able to find her all those hours. (we watch too much court tv.) i will admit right now-in the past i have definately had nights i should not have driven-so has most of the population at one time or another. this was not the night. so, there is not much to do except wait and take my fate (up the ass.)